There are a few things that are guaranteed when you have a newborn - sleepless nights, a tummy that looks and feels a bit like lumpy dough, nappies (lots of nappies) AND the question…

Uggghhh…

When people ask THAT question, they generally mean… Do they sleep well? Do they eat well? Are they quiet and content?

If your baby does sleep well, feed happily, and calmly watches the world go by then you can feel confident that you have a ‘good baby’. Of course, if bubs is doing all those things then you’re probably getting some sleep yourself, have nipples that are only slightly tender and have managed to have a shower in the last five days… so you’re already feeling pretty ‘good’.

BUT if your baby is not ticking all these boxes, then THAT question leaves you wondering if you actually have a ‘bad baby’.

And of course, if you have a baby that appears not to require sleep or together you’ve had a tough time figuring out the breastfeeding dance or who only stops crying if you are standing up, swaying, patting and humming Twinkle Twinkle seventeen times in a row… then you’re probably already feeing pretty ‘bad’.

So can we make a pact?

NEVER ask a new mum THAT question.

Instead, maybe you could ask them:

• What’s it like being a new mum?

• What’s your favourite meal? (so you can make it for them!)

• Does your baby look like you in your baby photos?

• Can I hold your baby while you have a shower?

• Do they have a favourite song yet?

• Do you need anything from the shops?

• How does your baby like to be held?

• Can I hang out your washing?

• What’s the toughest thing about being a new mum?
  

Because one thing I know for sure is that babies (just like their mums) are neither good nor bad, they are just trying to make sense of the new world they’ve landed in (just like their mums!).